To the Brokenhearted Mom Grieving an Infant Loss
by Alexandria Muller
To the brokenhearted mama,
You are here on earth and your precious baby is no longer. He’s now in Heaven after giving you so much love in one short year. You didn’t know pain and sorrow could ever be felt like this and that you’d survive to talk about it. But you will.
Instead of a first birthday party filled with balloons and laughter you are planning a funeral that will be full of tears. You don’t know how you’ll get through it. But you will.
Your broken heart is shattered. You don’t know how you can possibly piece it back together. But you will.
You will because God chose you to be his mom.
A strong, resilient, one-of-a-kind mom. That doesn’t end because your baby is not here in your arms. You will forever be his mom. The time together was not nearly enough. But your heart became more full of love than you ever imagined possible.
Picturing him looking down and telling the other babies in heaven, “That’s my mom, look at her! She’s doing so well and I’m proud of her,” will be your new motivation. It will give you a strength you never knew you had.
The hours, days, weeks ahead will be hard. But you will survive.
Your heart will never look the same, and a large piece will always be missing. You’ll find comfort in the memories, the pictures and videos that you’ll look at over and over. They will bring a smile to your face and tears to your eyes. You’ll learn to live with both. That heart of yours will be simultaneously bursting with sorrow and joy.
Some days the grief will be dominant. Others it will fade to the background, ever present, but not overpowering. That broken heart of yours will start to come back together. With duct tape, bandages, and glue that come in the form of shared tears, prayer, and above all else: hope.
“May the God of hope fill you with joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” – Romans 15:13
The promise of Heaven and eternal life with your baby will encourage you to live with compassion towards others. It is the thread that keeps you connected. Use your baby’s light as a guide so that when you are finally reunited it will be magnificent.
Be brave. Choose hope and joy, mama.
Love,
A mom who understands
Alexandria Muller
About Alexandria
Alex is mama to James, who at one years old got sick with RSV and died from complications. Within a week of James dying, Alex and husband Berry found out they are expecting another baby. Now with their faith and support from family and friends they are trying to navigate parenting a child in heaven and one on the way.
Connect with Author: www.instagram.com/ammuller22
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