Q&A with a Professional Counselor | Part I: What Counseling Is & How to Find a Counselor
After experiencing significant loss and trauma of losing a baby, many women consider pursuing counseling in some capacity as part of their journey of healing and grieving. Through the years, we’ve received a number of questions related to what counseling is, how to find a counselor, and navigating different counseling circumstances.
The Morning Team invited licensed counselor and member of The Joyful Mourning Community, Larissa Rossen, to join us for a conversation about counseling. In Part I of this two-part series, Larissa Rossen answers questions for us related to a few types of counseling, how to find the right counselor for you, and more. Let’s jump in!
What is the purpose of counseling?
If you asked this question to a group of counselors, you would perhaps get a different answer from each one of them. This may be because of different counseling approaches and views of mental health, its grounding in many theoretical perspectives, and the range of human problems for which counseling can be helpful. This is made all the more difficult because of why people seek counseling and the specific goals they may have. According to the American Counseling Association “Professional Counselors help clients identify goals and potential solutions to problems which cause emotional turmoil; seek to improve communication and coping skills; strengthen self-esteem; and promote behavior change and optimal mental health.”
How do I know when I should start going to counseling?
Sometimes you will know within yourself that you would like some extra professional support in processing a difficult experience or you would like to grow more into the person you want to be. Other times a partner or family member might be concerned and encourage you to see a counselor. I believe that each person is the expert of their own story and knows themselves best. My recommendation is to tune into yourself and learn to trust and honor what you need, and don’t be afraid to ask for help if you need it.
What are the different approaches to counseling?
In simplest terms, there are four broad types of therapy:
Psychodynamic Therapy addresses a range of mental health conditions by deep diving into the root cause of symptoms. In psychodynamic therapy, you might learn how your past has shaped your present, so you can move mindfully into the future.
Humanistic Therapy emphasizes the importance of being your true self in order to lead the most fulfilling life. Humanistic therapy tends to focus on your current day-to-day life and believes that people are good at heart and capable of making the right choices for themselves.
Cognitive and Behavioral Therapies blend focusing on your moods and thoughts (cognitive therapy) with behavioral therapy which specifically targets actions and behaviors. They generally target symptoms and are a shorter-term approach compared to other therapies.
Systemic Therapy seeks to understand an individual in the context in which they live and operate, otherwise known as a system. Instead of seeing problems within or belonging to an individual, systemic therapists view problems as part of the social and family system.
It’s important to emphasize that there is a theory of ‘common factors’ which suggests that all the different types of counseling share a host of common factors (such as client motivation and the nature of the counseling relationship) that account for much of the effectiveness of treatment. So, no matter what type of counseling you choose, you can be confident that they all have similar levels of effectiveness.
Note: If you’d like to learn more about approaches to counseling, you can read more here.
What is the difference between Biblical counseling & other Christian counseling?
There are a few differences between Biblical Counseling and Christian Counseling. The first difference is the source of authority by which each of these professionals seek to help others. A Biblical Counselor draws strictly upon Scripture, while a Christian Counselor will likely integrate psychological theories, counseling principles, and Scripture.
Biblical and Christian counselors may also have differing views on the nature of the client’s presenting problem. A Christian Counselor may understand the client’s problem from many different lenses including biological, psychological, and spiritual. A Biblical Counselor may only consider the spiritual side, including our sinful nature.
Another more practical difference between Biblical and Christian Counselors is the different licensing each of them hold. Generally, Christian Counselors are licensed by a professional association enabling clients to claim counseling sessions under their health insurance while Biblical Counselors generally don’t have that option available.
How do I know what type of counseling is right for me?
With so many options available, it can be difficult to commit to one type of therapy. Ultimately, the choice is yours. Perhaps you might like to read a little more into the different approaches to therapy and find one that appeals to you. It is important to note that many therapists use a combination of techniques from these different types of therapy, so it can be difficult to find a therapist that is a ‘purist’.
For those grieving the loss of a child, you might also consider a therapist that specializes in grief and loss..
How do you find a counselor?
You could ask for recommendations from family, friends, or your medical team, or you might research counselors based on your own desires and criteria. You can also look through the directories of professional organizations in your country such as the American Counseling Association or the National Board for Certified Counselors. Most list the types of therapy they offer.
If you have experienced a perinatal loss, most hospitals and care providers have a list of trained counselors who they can refer you to. You may also want to consider a therapist who is specially trained in perinatal mental health or is familiar with grief and loss. Postpartum Support International has a directory of trained perinatal mental health professionals where you can search for a specialized counselor.
If you are willing to attend online counseling sessions, or telehealth, you may be able to find someone who meets your specific needs and goals without being restricted by geography. Although there are pros and cons to online counseling, I have personally found telehealth appointments to be equally as effective for my clients who are willing to engage in this way.
As you research and contact potential therapists, keep in mind:
Your own personal reasons for seeking counseling
Your goals for counseling
Any specific characteristics you want in a therapist
What type of counseling you are attracted to
How much you can afford
Your scheduling/availability
Knowing these details can go a long way in narrowing down your search and increasing your chances of finding the right fit in a therapist from the beginning.
Entering into counseling is like entering into a new relationship, so it’s always best to be clear on what you’re looking for. It’s beneficial to put the effort into initially finding the right therapist as this might help you avoid having to change therapists down the track or experience the disappointment of a therapist that doesn’t provide the right support for you.
Is there such a thing as finding the right fit?
The fit between a client and counselor, also known as the therapeutic relationship, is very important to the progress of therapy. Counseling research suggests that therapeutic fit is actually more effective than therapeutic techniques in determining counseling success1. Although there's no such thing as finding the perfect therapist, I believe there is such a thing as finding the right therapist.
What is right for one person may not be for another; however, a few factors that are thought to contribute to therapeutic fit include: the client’s perception of the relationship (do you feel heard, understood, and respected?), an agreement about counseling goals, and the choice of therapy approach that makes sense for the client and their personal goals.
Personality, therapy style and method, therapist experience and professionalism, therapist worldview, and credentials also play into determining whether your therapist is the right fit for you. It is also important to reflect and check in with yourself - what does your intuition say?
How do you know when to pursue seeing a different therapist?
Knowing when to pursue a different therapist can be tricky to navigate.
It’s important to give your current therapeutic relationship every chance to bear fruit. This involves being honest with your current therapist about what’s working and not working. Although it can be difficult to have this challenging conversation, especially to the non-confrontational types among us, sometimes it can be the very thing that propels us forward.
One of the most powerful concepts in therapy is called the ‘here and now’ which involves sharing your own raw, honest thoughts and feelings about what’s happening in the moment with your therapist. The here and now concept is based on the notion that a client’s interpersonal issues will eventually emerge in the counseling relationship itself. This means that this same issue may crop up if you find another therapist if it isn’t resolved. Therefore, I would encourage you to take the vulnerable risk of discussing what’s happening in the moment with your counselor as it might result in a noticeable shift that bears much fruit.
It is also important to provide feedback to your therapist on how things are progressing. Even with the right therapist, feedback is essential to getting the most out of counseling. I am constantly asking my clients for feedback and your counselor should be asking you this as well. Research has found that therapists who invite feedback, or use feedback-informed treatment, are often the most effective.
If, after all these factors have been considered, you still feel your therapist is not the right fit for you, don’t despair. It’s okay to change therapists, or therapy types, if one isn’t working for you. What is important is that you keep trying until you find someone who feels right to you. Sometimes it can take a few attempts to find the right fit. Keep persevering as the right therapist is out there and persistence does pay off.
Tune in for Part II: Trauma, Trauma Therapy & Therapy for Families/Kids on Tuesday March 29.
References
1 Ardito, R. B., & Rabellino, D. (2011). Therapeutic alliance and outcome of psychotherapy: historical excursus, measurements, and prospects for research. Frontiers in psychology, 2, 270. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2011.00270
2 The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM; 5th Edition)
MEET THE AUTHOR: LARISSA ROSSEN
Larissa is a Registered Clinical Counselor in private practice in British Columbia, Canada. Her counseling practice, BE Counselling, is named after her son, Brayden Elijah, who was born still at 38+3 weeks. She conducts research investigating perinatal mental health, maternal bonding, and maternal identity following the loss of a baby as well as supports grieving families through loss. Her rainbow daughter is named Ava which means “life”.
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