Yes, totally normal. Having your period again can bring up all sorts of feelings – shame, guilt, painful memories of your loss, a reminder that you are no longer pregnant, grief, and more. Plus, the hormones you’re experiencing can exacerbate how you’re feeling. Give yourself extra grace and remember, however you’re feeling, you’re not alone.

We are not medical professionals and everyone’s situation is unique. Our first recommendation is to talk with your doctor about what would be best for you. What your body just went through was a lot, and while we know that you want a baby right now, it’s okay, and good, to take time to heal physically. It's also important to note that being on the same page with your spouse or partner is really important when trying to grow your family after loss. 

There are two things to remember when you’re considering this question.  First, no baby could ever replace the life of a baby lost. And two, no time waiting for another baby is ever wasted. That time is spent healing and growing and that time is valuable when moving forward to begin trying to grow your family again. So, talk with your doctor, talk with your spouse, and remember that no time is wasted.

I don’t know. But what I do know is that while our arms ache for the babies we’ve lost and the babies we long for, having a baby to fill those voids will not heal all of your wounds. Only God can do that – and we won’t know full healing this side of Heaven. Regardless of if you’ll ever have a baby in your home or not, your worth and value come from someone who calls you loved simply for being His. You can go to God with your ache and your pain for a baby. He comforts, he sees you, and he cares. 

We know that for many women, the added loss of not having another living child again or losing her fertility due to complications can be an added layer of grief and trauma. Take time to mourn and grieve it, if so. Your feelings about these secondary losses are extremely valid. The good news for you is that while some families go on to have another living child and rejoice in a new life, we know that our hope is not and cannot be found in a “rainbow” baby. Like all grief, all you can do is do the next thing, allow yourself to feel as you are, and know that joy will come, even amidst your mourning.

Due dates can be incredibly challenging to face now that your baby is no longer here. Leading up to your due date, you may feel a lot of conflicting emotions – or you may feel totally numb. Some women experience physical symptoms around their due date (our bodies remember too!) and some women feel more emotions after their due date passes. To think through how to acknowledge your due date, click here. And remember: your baby’s value and your love for your baby are not dependent on what exactly you do that day!