Why Raising Awareness Matters | Conversations With a Grieving Mom No. 01
Conversations with a Grieving Mom
October is Pregnancy & Infant Loss Awareness month. Maybe you saw the statistics yesterday as women raised their hand to say “I am 1 in 4” and to share their story of baby loss. Or maybe you didn’t even notice, just another ‘awareness’ month filling up your feed. It’s ok, I didn’t know that October was Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness month either until it was me. Until I was the 1 in the 4. But here’s the thing, while you may not be the 1 you likely know her. She is your friend. Your sister. Your daughter. Your neighbor. Your coworker. The stranger at the grocery store. The acquaintance at church.
1 in 4 is so much more than a number. Raising awareness is about so much more than a statistic. It's a person. It’s a life.
We raise awareness because that one matters.
We raise awareness because the numbers would tell us that if it isn’t you, then you likely know someone who has experienced the loss of a baby. We raise awareness so that you might know better how to love her and care for her. Because to ignore her pain is to ignore her.
We raise awareness because we want you to know our story. To know our baby. Because to know us and not know about our baby is to not really know us at all.
We raise awareness to remove the stigma of baby loss. To stop pretending that it isn’t happening all around us all the time. To stop the shame that is associated with baby loss and the false expectation of what it means to be a grieving mother. That a life that is short doesn’t warrant sorrow.
We raise awareness to help you understand that our hearts are rightfully broken and to expect a different response from us would be unfair.
We raise awareness because the loss of a baby creates a kind of loneliness that is felt in the depths of a woman’s soul. A loneliness so deep that it is hard to put into words. And when we raise our hand and say ‘I am 1 in 4’ we are fighting that loneliness. In a moment when we feel like we are the only one, we get to see that we’re not. We begin to understand that while we may have felt alone we are truly not alone.
We raise awareness to dismantle feelings of shame. To shout real loud, you did nothing to make this happen. This is not your fault.
We raise awareness to help women find the freedom to no longer hide. To give a safe space for women to share their story.
We raise awareness to bring attention to the disparities that exist in regards to baby loss. A black woman is 4-5 times more likely to die from pregnancy-related causes and that is not ok.
We raise awareness because in a culture that runs away from pain we are the ones living in it. We need to talk about it. We want to talk about it.
We raise awareness because 1 in 4 is so much more than a number. So much more than a statistic. It's a person. It’s a life.
We raise awareness because that one matters.