Multiple Losses, A Hysterectomy & Hope When There is No Rainbow | Episode 091 with Kelsey Hayes
Episode 91
Listen in to this honest conversation with Kelsey Hayes, a mom who experienced multiple losses that ended with a full hysterectomy and a chance at having future biological children.
We talk about what hope looks like when there is no foreseeable rainbow, we talk about how grief was different for each of her losses, we talk about how joy and peace can exist in the middle of absolute heartache. And her perspective on how to view and act towards people who say the most hurtful things after loss is both challenging and encouraging as she shares very candidly about a really painful experience with a family member.
We talk about the challenges of parenting after loss and I could really relate when she said “it's tough being a parent after having a loss, you're on guard for anything that can happen and your brain goes to the worst possible scenario.” We talk about all of that and more in this episode.
Kelsey’s raw vulnerability and honesty is incredibly relatable and I am sure that it will be helpful as it reminds you that you are not alone in this grief journey.
Questions We Answer (or try to answer) During This Episode
What was it like to not only lose your son but also your chance to have more biological children?
In the baby loss community the term ‘rainbow baby’ is used a lot, and we put a lot of hope in being able to have a baby after we experience loss, but having a biological rainbow baby is not something you can put hope in — what would you say to a mom who is in a similar position?
What do you wish you had known in those early moments of grief that you can see a bit clearer now?
Is there anything that has surprised you about this grief journey?
What do you wish others knew about death and grief and life after loss?
If you were giving advice to someone who has a friend walking through pregnancy or infant loss, what would you say are the most non-helpful versus helpful things to say to someone hurting? In your case, what has it looked like to show grace even when people say or do things that hurt you?
How has walking through loss impacted the way you see the world now?
MEET KELSEY
Hello! My name is Kelsey. I am 28 years old. I work as a fundraising administrator assistant for a museum. I married the man of my dreams on December 25th, 2015. Together we have 2 children, and 2 cats. I love watercolor painting, singing, and cheering for our son at his baseball games. My favorite place to be is at the beach. Some future goals of mine are to complete our family through adoption, write a book, and to climb to the top of as many lighthouses as possible.
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