How to Navigate the Holiday Season after Pregnancy or Infant Loss | Episode 210

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IN EPISODE 210:

In this episode I’m answering your questions about navigating the holiday season while grieving the loss of a baby. 

1. Is it ok to cancel plans and stay home if the feelings are too much? I’m a people pleaser.

2. Why do I feel like I can’t get through the holidays? It’s giving me anxiety and I’m avoiding it.

3. This will be my first year navigating the holidays after both of my baby’s losses. Part of me feels guilty for wanting to sit this year out and just be alone. Everything completely shifted and it’s difficult to even converse with family.

4. I want to hold both joy and grief throughout this season. I’m desperate for some normalcy and want to still find joy in the holidays. Is that realistic?

5. I want to make it happy and normal for my children but my brain and physical capacity is so weak right now. It takes SO much in a normal year to do it all and I feel so incapable this year. The holidays are coming in fast and it’s overwhelming.

6. Did you feel guilt when you started enjoying the Holidays or portions of the Holidays again and how did you navigate that? Sometimes I feel guilty that this second Holiday Season is not as dark, difficult, numb, or empty feeling. That somehow my not deeply hurting as much dishonors my son. The grief still feels just as heavy, but I guess I have learned to carry it differently.

7. How do you include your living children in remembering your son throughout the holidays?

8. How do I let my emotions and feelings out without making others around me feel sorry, sad or bad. Although I may be having a moment, I don’t want to ruin the vibe for everyone else. I have learned to leave the room but sometimes I’m not as stealthy as I think I am, or others notice and then there is “talk” and the vibe gets turned anyways. The people around me love me and I know are not bothered or angry that I have my moments, but I feel bad that the celebrating and joy pauses because of me.

9. How do you navigate the holidays when your child unexpectedly passed two days after Christmas last year and you have a newborn (very unexpected) at the same time?

10. I want my family to always include our baby. This is our first Christmas without him. How do I react if they continue to not really talk about him or include him. I really don’t want to be angry. But that hurts.

I pray the words I share with you today offer you hope in this season. I pray these words remind you that you are not alone.  

RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THE EPISODE:

• HOLIDAY WORKBOOK & RESOURCE BUNDLE: www.themorning.com/holidays

• LISTEN: Episode 56, Episode 57, Episode 58, Episode 101, Episode 138 and Episode 183

• CHRISTMAS TRADITIONS FOR A GRIEVING MOTHER: www.themorning.com/blog/5-christmas traditions-for-a-grieving-mother

• DIY ORNAMENTS TO HONOR YOUR BABY: www.themorning.com/blog/diy-christmas-ornaments

• CHRISTMAS CARD GUIDE: www.themorning.com/blog/christmas-card-guide

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the holiday collection

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