Miscarriage, Misconceptions & What She Would Say to a Grieving Mom | Episode 104 with Rachel Allene
Episode 104
In this episode my friend Rachel Allene shares her story of miscarriage and what life after the loss of a baby looked like for her. She shares very candidly about her miscarriage experience in the hopes that a woman walking through miscarriage now would feel less alone in her journey. We talk about misconceptions surrounding baby loss and grief. We talk about the season of waiting and anticipating and hoping for another chance at pregnancy and a living baby. We talk about pregnancy after loss and how viewing rainbow babies as redemption is not helpful and can be dangerous to our health and healing.
Rachel is incredibly honest about her experience with miscarriage and how she felt embarrassed for how heavy her grief felt after her loss. If you have ever thought I should be past this by now or I am crying too much or what’s wrong with me I was only —— weeks along? This episode is going to be really helpful and relatable for you.
Also, if you are someone who loves a grieving mom, Rachel gives very helpful advice about how to tangibly be a friend to someone who has experienced a miscarriage.
I’m so grateful for Rachel and her honesty about miscarriage and life after loss — I am certain this episode will bless you as it reminds you that you are loved and not alone.
QUESTIONS WE ANSWER (OR TRY TO ANSWER) DURING THIS EPISODE
What surprised you most about grief?
What do you think the biggest misconceptions surrounding baby loss and grief are?
What is something you wish you had known or understood about miscarriage? What would you tell a mom who is listening and has just experienced pregnancy loss to expect?
What do you wish you had known about grief and life after baby loss?
You wrote these words about your new baby Sophie, you said:
“I remember the months after our miscarriage and always thinking to myself "I know one day I will be holding our rainbow baby & that will be a magical day, but this is so painful right now." And it's true...the pain after a miscarriage is like no other. I always had hope for what is now my reality, but those months of grief and pain shaped me and formed me into a different person. I am still coming out of that grief. I am still forming into a new version of myself. I am still tending those wounds to make space for a softer, kinder, more hope-filled version of myself. In many ways, Sophie has brought healing and hope to my heart in ways I expected and ways I didn't expect. She is our precious, prayed for, and perfect rainbow baby. She is the answer to many tear-filled prayers. And she is teaching me so much about God's goodness and sovereignty.”
Tell me more about the waiting and what it was like before your prayer for another baby was answered.What would you say to a mom who is in that season now?
What was pregnancy after loss like for you?
What wisdom or encouragement would you give to a mom who is pregnant after loss?
You talk a lot about how joy and sorrow can go hand in hand — tell me more about that.
What advice would you give to someone who has a friend or family member who has experienced pregnancy loss and is grieving -- how can they love a grieving mom well? In what ways did you feel loved and cared for after your miscarriage?
meet RACHEL
Rachel Allene Heckmann is the Creative stylist and director at Rachel Allene, an online shop that offers products and services for the creative, joyful, and inspired dreamer.
Through thoughtful and intentionally designed products, her business seeks to encourage and empower women to find joy and peace in the simple and routine moments of life.
Her most favorite roles are wife to Joel and mama to Knox & Sophie. She is also a daughter, sister, auntie, friend, and heart encourager.
