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Episode 109

My guest this week is Maggie Koch and we are talking about pregnancy and postpartum after baby loss. Maggie experienced a late term stillbirth with her daughter Olivia and in this episode she is sharing with us what it was like to be pregnant again and what it was like to prepare for labor and what it was like to bring home a living baby and navigate postpartum. Maggie shares candidly about what it was like to make the decision to try and get pregnant again and I could relate when she said, “I wasn’t sure I would ever be 100% ready to try again with no reservations or fear.”

Maggie shared the tangible ways she managed the fear and anxiety as well as the ways she manages it now 6 months after bringing home her son Oliver. We talk about how helpful her care team, questions you might ask them to help you navigate this journey as well as what to do if you are not receiving the care you need. She talks about how she prepared for labor and delivery and what she brought to the hospital to make her feel safe and remind her that her daughter Olivia was not and would not be forgotten. We talked about guilt and the fear of moving on or forgetting our babies, maybe you can relate to Maggie when she said this:

“I also struggled with feeling like his birth was going to erase the importance of her life; I wondered, now that he would physically be with us, what did that mean for her memory?”

Listen in to hear how Maggie intentionally incorporated her daughter’s memory into Oliver’s birth and how she continues to honor her and remember her in their everyday.

And I think Maggie’s final words of encouragement will be incredibly helpful if you have experienced miscarriage or stillbirth, so make sure to listen all the way to the end for that.

QUESTIONS we discuss IN EPISODE 109

How did you make the decision to try to conceive again after the loss of your daughter Olivia? Did you feel ready to try again? What would you say to a woman who is trying to make that decision?
Did you experience fear and anxiety during your pregnancy after loss? If so, how did you cope with anxiety and not living in a constant state of fear throughout your pregnancy?
Any practical tips for making the 9 months more manageable? For example: How did you handle doctors appointments? Did you do extra testing? Did you use a home doppler?
How did you handle the trauma from Olivia’s birth (stillbirth)?
How did you mentally prepare for labor? What would you say to the mom who experienced a stillbirth and is having a difficult time mentally preparing for labor and anticipating all the memories of her previous labor and baby?
Do you have any advice about speaking to medical staff and doctors about concerns and fears or even just telling your story?
What would you say to a mom who is feeling guilt over having another baby?
What are some ways that you honor and remember Olivia now with your new son?
What is one final word of encouragement you would give to another mom who is pregnant after the loss of a baby?