Cuddle Cot: What Is It & How It Can Help You | Episode 142 with Kristyn Szala

PodcastGriefLife-Limiting Diagnosis

Dec 16

Written By Ashlee Proffitt

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Episode 142

This week on the podcast Kristyn Szala joins me back on the podcast to talk about Cuddle Cots – what they are, why a mom who has received a life-limiting diagnosis should know about these, how to learn more about them and how to get one for yourself or for someone you love.

Kristyn shared her full story with us in Episode 134 but is joining us this week to talk specifically about Cuddle Cots and the role this resource played in her bereavement care. Kristyn says over and over during our time together what a blessing Cuddle Cots were to her after her son Asher was born still due to complications from a life-limiting diagnosis of Trisomy 18. Cuddle Cots gave her, and give moms like her, the gift of time. This amazing resource gives parents, as well as friends and family, the ability to spend time with their baby that they wouldn’t really be able to otherwise.

Cuddle cots are not widely known about in the US but they are gaining traction as a very helpful resource in bereavement care for families who have experienced the loss of a baby and Kristyn shares all about that in this episode.

If you have been given a life-limiting diagnosis or knows someone who has this episode is going to be very helpful. And if you are a grieving mom, looking for a way to bless other moms I would listen in – knowing about Cuddle Cots and helping to raise awareness about this unique and helpful resource might be the very thing someone you know and love will need in the future.

As we near the end of the year, if you are looking for year end giving opportunities this would be a really great opportunity to give to in honor of your baby this Christmas. To find out more about how to connect with Kristyn and give a donation head to www.facebook.com/AshersHope. Or reach out to your local hospital and give a donation for them to begin raising the funds necessary to purchase their own Cuddle Cot!

ABOUT CUDDLECOTS

What is a CuddleCot?

Simply put, a CuddleCot is a small cooling unit fitted inside a bassinet. In more detailed terms, the CuddleCot cooling pad is placed in the provided Moses basket, but can be used with any Moses basket, crib or bed. It is connected by a specially insulated hose and is quietly cooled using the CuddleCot cooling unit. The CuddleCot’s thin, soft cooling pad is placed on top of the soft mattress which ensures baby is fully cushioned and comfortable. The CuddleCot system comes with two sizes of cooling pad for premature and full-term babies. In personal terms, a CuddleCot is a way to provide the gift of time.

Who would it be useful for?

A CuddleCot is sized to fit premature and full-term babies. A CuddleCot would be applicable for a family who has experienced stillbirth or neonatal loss and who would like to spend extra time with their baby in the hospital, or even at home.

How did you hear about them?

My son, Asher, was given the life-limiting diagnosis of Trisomy 18 when I was 18 weeks pregnant. At that moment in time, I knew nothing about how to prepare for what lay ahead. I was shopping for nursery furniture, and now I needed to pivot to preparing for a funeral. I did a lot of research after that about continuing a pregnancy when your baby’s life is expected to be brief. I dove deep into research on medical care that was available to me, decisions about my birth plan, forming my team of medical care-givers, etc. During that time, a dear friend had heard about CuddleCots and mentioned them to me. She said she would like to head a fundraiser to purchase one for my family, just in case we needed it (at this point we had no clue if my son would be born alive, and if so, how long he would live). In all honesty, my husband and I did not know what to think at first. I knew I wanted as much time as I could be afforded with Asher, but the thought of “would using this be morbid?” did cross our minds. The more I looked into it though, the more I was convinced that this tool would be incredibly helpful to me. If I needed it, it was going to allow me extra time to have my son by my side, and that was truy all I wanted. It took my husband a little longer to warm up to the idea, but he agreed and was thankful to all our friends and family who supported us and banded together to get us this CuddleCot.

Although internationally recognized, CuddleCots are extensively used in the United Kingdom, but are not as well known in the United States. Many hospitals are beginning to recognize the importance of bereavement care and are becoming certified in bereavement education, but still do not have a CuddleCot in their Labor and Delivery department. They often rely on donations from families to bring CuddleCots into their departments. I have been seeing more talk of CuddleCots recently though. Many parents who have walked through stillbirth are very vocal about the gifts a CuddleCot afforded them. Education through word of mouth and experience is spreading. CuddleCots were also featured on Season2 Episode 8 of New Amsterdam (https://www.nbc.com/new-amsterdam/video/max-encourages-gabriela-to-say-goodbye/4066676). There is still a lot more to be done, but these resources are becoming more available to those who may need them.

How did a CuddleCot help you?

Asher was stillborn at 36 weeks. Asher’s CuddleCot allowed us to spend 2 ½ days with him. Time for moments and memories. We bathed him, dressed him in a special outfit and wrapped him in a special blanket, we took family photos together, and my mom and one of my best friends both flew in to meet him. All of those things would not have been able to happen without the time the CuddleCot afforded us. The biggest thing I used the gift of time for, though, was simply to hold Asher. I would just spend the day holding him, then when everyone would go at night, because the hospital room only had my bed in it, Asher was in the bassinet of the CuddleCot right next to my bed and he could just sleep right next to me. Honestly, that was probably one of the most peaceful times, just having him there, having that moment of just him and I. I knew this was all I was gonna get with him for now and I cherished it. My heart really needed that time with him. No time is ever going to be enough time, but just having that option was so important. I have two-and-a-half days now of memories and moments and just time we spent together as a family.

Asher’s CuddleCot was donated to the hospital I delivered at in his honor to help other families in need. Since then, I formed Asher’s Hope (https://www.facebook.com/AshersHope), a local charity organization I began in honor of my son, to raise funds and donate CuddleCots to my local area hospitals. Including Asher’s we have donated four CuddleCots and are on our way towards more. Two news articles recently ran in my local paper about our efforts and I had a mother reach out to me, thank me and say she used Asher’s CuddleCot during her hospital stay. She read the article and was honored to know the backstory of the CuddleCot. She has made plans to stop by my next fundraising event and I can’t wait to meet her and give her a hug. To know Asher’s legacy continues to live on through this makes me so proud as a mother.

Why do you think cuddle cots are important for grieving moms?

Dealing with the death of a baby is clearly an incredibly difficult event for parents. Bereaved parents should be given the option of spending time with their baby. A CuddleCot gives families the ultimate gift: the gift of time, allowing for their precious children to be at their bedside during their hospital stay.

Providing families time through the use of the CuddleCot is internationally encouraged by midwives, bereavement practitioners, stillbirth/neonatal charities, and academics. Time allows the family to form an important bond with their baby; whether changing a diaper, dressing the baby, taking photographs or simply just staying close - and this helps families in dealing with their loss.

How do I get a CuddleCot if I need one?

If you think you may need a CuddleCot, the first thing to do would be to reach out to your local hospital and ask the Labor and Delivery Department if they have access to one. If they don’t, and you’d like to purchase a CuddleCot, you can visit https://flexmort.com/cuddle-cot/. A CuddleCot costs around $2800 and takes approximately a week to arrive. If neither of those options are realistic for you, there are many organizations set up by parents who have lost a baby and believe in the power of CuddleCots. Their mission is to help put CuddleCots in hospitals around the United States. Often, they assist you in starting a fundraiser to raise funds for one. You can also begin your own fundraiser on Go Fund Me, or a similar platform.

If you’d like more information on CuddleCots, you can visit https://flexmort.com/cuddle-cot/ or feel free to reach out to me through Asher’s Hope (https://www.facebook.com/AshersHope). I’m so passionate about the gift of time and would love to be there for you however I am able.

Meet Kristyn

I've walked the long road of infertility and underwent IVF multiple times on my journey to motherhood. I have one living son, Brock, who is turning 7 this summer. I miscarried Brock's twin (who I affectionally nicknamed Coco) around 10 weeks (disappearing twin syndrome). My second son, Asher, was stillborn at 36 weeks. We received a life limiting diagnosis for him (Trisomy 18 with Spina Bifida and Tetralogy of Fallot) when I was 18 weeks pregnant. I found this podcast the day I came home from the hospital after delivering Asher. The first episode had just been release the day prior, so The Joyful Morning and the community surrounding it hold a special place in my heart and in my healing.