How To Love a Grieving Friend Amidst a Life-Limiting Diagnosis | Episode 095 with Kelly & Caroline

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Episode 95

In this episode we are talking all about friendship amidst loss and grief. In this episode I have the privilege of interviewing best friends Kelly & Caroline. Kelly received a prenatal life-limiting diagnosis of Trisomy 18 for her son Reeves and during our time together she and Caroline share honestly and tenderly about their friendship and what role it played in Kelly’s loss and healing journey. Caroline gives incredibly helpful and tangible wisdom about how to love a friend who is walking through a life-limiting diagnosis. If you know and love someone who has received a life-limiting diagnosis or has experienced the loss of a baby Caroline’s wisdom will be so helpful to you. Kelly gives wisdom to the mom who may be feeling lonely, who might not be surrounded by friends who step in to help. This episode is so encouraging as it reminds us that it is the simplest things that matter so much. That loving someone who is hurting does not have to look like grand gestures but rather an imperfect showing up that is consistent and prayerful and thoughtful has the potential to really help and bring healing. This episode is tender and raw and I am forever grateful for these two women and the friendship they represent. I pray it encourages you to step into the messiness of friendship after loss as it reminds you that it is absolutely worth it. 

If you love a grieving mom, don’t forget to check out last week’s episode, Episode #94 about how to love a grieving friend and my simple list of 10 don’t do this instead do this ideas.  To download a free checklist of the ideas shared in that episode head to  www.themorning.com/friendsandfamily. On that page you will also be able to access all of the existing resources we have about how to love a grieving mom; if you love a grieving mom I think these resources will be very helpful to you. 

And as always, if you are a grieving mom, I want to invite you to join our free online community, The Joyful Mourning Community. It’s a place where you can find women who have experienced the loss of a baby and are navigating this grief journey. It’s a safe place where you can ask hard questions, lament, ask for prayer, a place where you can find women who understand what you are going through and can remind you you aren’t alone. To join our community just click the button below. I can’t wait to see you there.

QUESTIONS WE ANSWER (OR TRY TO ANSWER) DURING THIS EPISODE

• Caroline (friend), what was it like to receive such difficult news (a terminal prenatal diagnosis) from your best friend? 

• Kelly (mom), you shared with me that you had an amazing support group during your pregnancy with Reeves. You wrote these words about that season, you said: “It was truly humbling to see so many women and families come around us. The initiator of a lot of that was one of my best friends, Caroline. She is the most servant hearted, gracious person… she and the support we received from those around us, is one of the greatest ways the Lord spoke to us through our pregnancy and time with our son, Reeves.”  Tell me more about that. What are some of the tangible ways you were loved and cared for? 

• Caroline, what next steps did you take as you began to find and plan ways to love on Kelly? I’m thinking of the friend who is listening and doesn’t know where to start.

• What are some misconceptions about friendship in a season like this? From the grieving mom or the friend?

• Kelly, what wisdom or encouragement would you give a grieving mom about friendship? What challenges should she be aware of?

• Likewise, Caroline, what wisdom would you give to someone who loves a grieving mom? What challenges should she be aware of?

• Kelly, what would you say to a grieving mom who is feeling lonely and isolated and feeling forgotten by her friends? What role does she play in pursuing friendship?

• Caroline, what do you wish others knew about friendship after baby loss? 

• Kelly, how has your friendship impacted your journey to healing?

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Meet Kelly & Caroline

Hi I’m Kelly.

In November 2019, we were ecstatic to find out that we were pregnant with our 4th child. However, it started rocky with low progesterone, followed by the appearance of choroid plexus cyst at our anatomy scan. At a follow up sono, they also found a heart defect and less than 2 weeks later, our world was shattered by a Trisomy 18 diagnosis at 25 weeks. We began weekly doctor visits to our MFM and on July 2, we delivered our precious boy, Reeves Joshua Griffin, via an unplanned c section. While we had been told we may have just a few short hours with Reeves, the Lord blessed us with 2.5 amazing days with him. Reeves met his Creator the morning of July 5 and the best day of his life became the worst one of mine. Since that time, our family has been grieving and healing as we rely on the Lord for all of our needs. He was so present and faithful during our pregnancy and Reeves' short life and continues to draw near as we navigate life without our precious son.

Much more of our story is documented in the blog I kept. We share of God's faithfulness to us in the darkest season of our lives.

Hi, I’m Caroline!

I asked Jesus into my heart around 5 years old and grew up with a loving family. I was passionate about caring for others and knew I wanted to be a nurse from early age.

I worked as a Labor & Delivery nurse for most of my 20’s and also worked as a volunteer nurse at Thrive, a local pregnancy center, for 7 years. Throughout those years I walked with many patients and friends through loss.

I married my incredible husband Tim at 30 and am currently a stay at home mom to 3 children- Titus (4), Reese (2) and Axl (9 months).

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more resources about how to love a grieving friend

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how to love a grieving friend

a free guide

take me to the guide