Navigating Birthdays, Anniversaries & Other Important, But Difficult Dates After Baby Loss | Episode 125 with Erica McAfee
Episode 125
In this episode I am talking with Erica McAfee. Erica is a mom who has experienced considerable loss throughout her motherhood journey. In Episode 98 she shared her story with us and today she is back on the podcast to chat with me about navigating milestones like birthdays, due dates, anniversaries and all those important dates after the loss of a baby.
She shares with us what her important dates are, what they look like for her, how they have changed over the years, and how she and her husband navigate those days differently. Erica’s wisdom in this episode offers a ton of freedom as well as practical insight for navigating those important dates and milestones that we as grieving mothers have.
At the beginning of the episode you heard a snippet of Erica talking about how she writes her son a letter on his birthday as a tangible way to mother him and celebrate him and grieve on that day. This was such practically helpful advice and I wanted you to be able to incorporate it into your milestones and important dates too. So, I created a letter writing guide with more than 10 journal prompt ideas that you can download and use on those days. (This is not just for birthdays but for any date where you want to intentionally spend time reflecting on your baby or processing your grief or simply to spend time tangibly mothering your baby.) You can download that letter writing guide by clicking the button below.
Questions We Discuss in Episode 125
You lost a son at birth and a daughter well into the second trimester, your calendar year is full then of important dates, birthdays, due dates, anniversaries, and dates that likely trigger traumatic memories -- what are some of the important days in your year?
What other dates or seasons, besides the obvious ones like a birthday or due date, are difficult for you? And is there anything special you do to mark those days?
What are some ways that you celebrated your son’s birthday over the years? How do you celebrate with your spouse or family?
Are there any special rituals you do to celebrate in your own heart?
How has this celebration of his birthday changed over the years?
How do you know whether to include others or not in your important dates?
Do you and your husband want to celebrate these days the same? Differently? How do you work through that when you’re on different pages as parents?
What advice would you give a grieving mom about what to expect in regards to due dates or birthdays?
Meet Erica
I’m Erica, the Founder and Head Sister of Sisters in Loss, a digital media platform where Black Women replace Silence with Storytelling around Pregnancy and Infant Loss and Infertility.
I started Sisters in Loss when I was searching for a podcast and community of black women with shared experiences around miscarriages and infertility. After experiencing a stillbirth at 39 weeks and miscarriage at 18 weeks, I know the pain and healing that comes with life after loss.
