Faith, Doubt and Trusting God After Infant Loss | Episode 176 with Mikayla Chaparro

PodcastInfant Loss

Sep 15

Written By Ashlee Proffitt

part 02

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Episode 176

This is part 2 of a 2 part interview with Mikayla Chapparro. Last week in Episode 175 Mikayla shared what it was like for her to lose her son Valor when he was 11 months old – she talked about her grief journey, the destructive patterns she experienced and what it was like for her to replace those habits with healthier coping methods that led to true healing.

This week in Part 02 we are talking about her faith journey – as a new christian just exploring the faith when her son died she began to wrestle with God over what He had allowed in the death of her son. She talks honestly about what that looked like for her and what her faith looks like today nearly a year later. Whether you are clinging to God and He has never felt closer or you are running hard away from Him and anything that has to do with Him – this episode is for you.

I ask Mikayla questions like: what does it mean to trust God after you experience the loss of your son or how has doubt increased your faith or how do you best connect with and hear from God – all questions that I am sure you can relate to.

I know that Mikayla’s honesty and tenderness is going to be a tangible reminder that you are not alone in this – that someone else understands because they have been there too.

QUESTIONS we discuss IN EPISODE 176

What has your faith looked like since losing Valor?
You wrote: “Doubt is good. It leads us to wrestle with God, which over and over again he welcomes his children to do with him. Our doubt is what exercises our faith.” Tell me more about that.
How do you best hear from God?
What would you say to a grieving mom who just can’t open the Bible right now – where would you recommend her starting. What has been helpful to you?
Tell me about finding purpose after pain – you have experienced so much of it. How have you experienced God weaving unimaginable good from unspeakable tragedies? I loved your thoughts about Job.
You wrote these beautiful, powerful words:
“If this HAS to be my life. If this HAS to be my story. Let not one tear fall from my face in vain.
You say you keep all my tears in a bottle.
Use them.
Water gardens in eternity.
Weave this tear soaked thread in your great design. Let it MEAN SOMETHING.
It will never be a fair trade to me, but if it has to be this way…
Take Valor’s life, my life, roll it up like a ball of infinite matter and hurt it at strongholds and hearts and stone and darkness. Do what you do best - shatter it all like you shattered my life and let it hold eternal weight.
Though you slay me, I trust in you.”
Tell me what ‘trusting in God’ looks like for you in this season – how do you trust a God who let your son die?

Meet Mikayla

I'm Mikayla Dawn Chaparro. I am a wife, a business owner, a creative, and mother.
I have three children with me on earth, a son we lost at just shy of a year old, and two we lost in early miscarriages. I am currently pregnant with what will be our 7th child (our 5th who will get to see face to face).

I like to say I have 4 in the quiver, 3 in the target.
My husband and I did wedding photography + videography full time before we lost our son, Valor, last year. But now things are pivoting and looking a little different these days as we transition to a new life without our son. We are getting ready to launch a new company called Dawn Photo Co. that will be a team of photographers and videographers who work under us while I do what I've been gifted at- running the business.

My husband is continuing to do videography within the new team and we are just taking it a day at a time as we figure out what life is going to look like for us in this new future we never imagined.

Connect with Mikayla on Instagram: @mikayladawnchaparro

Check out Mikayla’s Work: www.mikayladawn.com